What to do if you are someone who hates to talk about “feelings”?

When I was a young man, I rarely talked ”feelings”. For the most part, I didn’t know how to. My feelings avoidance played itself out in different ways. One way was that, at age 21, I bought a guitar, and took to studying flamenco guitar. My internal thoughts were, “I will learn to express how […]

Difficult conversations go better when you find and negotiate with your feelings

I was a cigarette smoker in my younger days. For close to 15 years, I wrestled with the addiction. When I finally committed to being a non-smoker, I gained a different perspective on smoking. Many years after my last cigarette, I spent several years as a contract business analyst, working on the development and implementation […]

Conflict: Thank you [A poem]

[October 9, 2017 is Thanksgiving Day in Canada. My poem gives thanks to conflict’s role in my learning journey.] Hello Conflict, my trusted friend I can count on you, to put in an appearance, every day A gift, of sorts Thank you. When I work with you, respect you My differences with others turn small […]

Apply a “My 15%” Rule to Develop and Leverage Conflict Competency in Your Organization

The U.S. Army has what it calls its’ “My 15%” rule.  Believing that most people have about 15 percent control over their work situations, the Army asks everyone, no matter their rank, “What’s your 15% of the problem?” “Where do you have freedom to act?”, for mutual benefit. No matter your organization, to me: adopting a”my 15%” […]

How to minimize the extent unconscious bias impacts your decision-making process

“That’s not what I meant to say.”  Yet, I did.  Was I tripped up by my unconscious biases? The list of cognitive biases, a subset of our unconscious biases, is long (150+). Biases influence how we behave in the world. Unconscious bias is a performance killer “Unconscious bias is a powerful yet quiet performance killer. It literally […]