Esther Perel says, “the quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives.” Perel, the popular Belgian psychotherapist and relationship expert, has made it her mission to help us improve how we connect. Over the years, I’ve discovered and adapted much from experts in human relationships (e.g., John Gottman’s magic relationship ratio); to my work, […]
The quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives
February 22, 2019 by · Leave a Comment
Make your “Open Door Policy” a two-way street
February 11, 2019 by · Leave a Comment
“When the boss says “my door is always open” – it’s a cop-out, not an invitation. ” So says the authors of It Doesn’t Have To Be Crazy At Work, Jason fried and David Heinemeier Hansson. The authors are partners (Fried is CEO) in Basecamp, a leading project management and team communications software product. It Doesn’t […]
Premortem Analysis: The pathway to better team chemistry and project outcomes
February 4, 2019 by · Leave a Comment
“Why didn’t you speak up about that, at the time? This project has turned into a disaster.” Having spent a good chunk of my professional life in the project world, I’ve both asked that question, and, sigh, been the one having to answer that question. Projects fail, often, if not at a spectacular rate. One […]
LADDERS: A Model for Scaling Constructive Behaviours in Your Organization
January 9, 2019 by · Leave a Comment
“It’s important that we reach out to them, and see it from their perspective.” “We need to be able to speak up, express our emotions, and say what’s on our mind.” “Let’s reflect on that option. I’m sure that with a bit of creative re-jigging, we can find a better solution.” Those are all constructive […]
The technological future of conflict management is a mixed bag of goodies: My 2018 findings
December 19, 2018 by · Leave a Comment
Having spent many years in the information technology business, I retain a soft spot for technology. Once I thought technology was the Holy Grail for furthering social justice. That dream has faded somewhat over the decades. Nevertheless, promise holds external… here are ten of my favourite technology-oriented conflict management findings of 2018: Are men talking […]
Black and White: The Colours of Conflict [A Poem]
December 10, 2018 by · Leave a Comment
[Last Thursday night I attended Poems of Colour, an evening of local poetry, where I live, that celebrates diversity and explores the themes of race and ethnicity. There were many young poets reading. The MC was Victoria’s Youth Poet Laureate, Argutu Ali. The event was sponsored by the City of Victoria, and held at at […]
Apply the Science of Friendship to your next Community Collaboration
December 3, 2018 by · 2 Comments
Work, and life, is more rewarding when it happens with friends. Reflecting back on my four decades (and counting) in the workforce, many of my most treasured work memories are time spent with co-workers who were also friends. We didn’t start out as friends. It happened organically, over time. Whether over coffee breaks, lunch hour […]
3 Mutual-benefit strategies to reduce conflict and improve the land-use application process
November 28, 2018 by · Leave a Comment
Land-use applications are a rich source of conflict, almost everywhere. That’s certainly my experience, here in Victoria. Too often, the interests of developers, public administrators and community members are in conflict, especially when a rezoning, or amendment to the Official Community Plan, is required. It’s not uncommon for changes proposed by a developer to be […]
Summer before Fall: A technique to cool things down when team conflict gets too hot
November 19, 2018 by · 3 Comments
How often have you been in a team or group meeting of some sort, conflict flares, and before you know it, there’s too much talking and not enough listening? Summer before Fall Summer before Fall is a (non-gender-specific) technique to cool things down when tensions rise in your group. The technique promotes active listening […]
