5 Reasons Why Change Happens Through Conversations

Want to change how your family, group, organization, collaboration is working?  Have conversations.

It’s through conversations that change happens, and we are transformed. Here’s why:

  1. Conversations bring us together. And when we are together, we are much more comfortable with change, personal change, organization change, community change… We can handle anything, as long as we are together
  2. Conversations help us get from here to there. Conversations help us see what was, help us reflect on where we are now and what might be, and help us embody the new.  As a mediator, conversation is the road to (dispute) resolution.
  3. Conversations help us build trust. And, when we trust the group we’re in, something special happens. We are freed to be ourselves, to act, knowing that if we falter, the group will pull us through. Count on it! We can even bridge communities and cultures, even those with generations of distrust.
  4. Through conversation we discover shared meaning, and when that meaning changes, we are changed.
  5. Conversations connect the family, organization, community, to more of itself, a sign of a healthy living system.

There are so many ways to have a conversation; face-to-face or online, small group or large group, over food, while watching a movie at someone’s home.  The possibilities are endless.

Heck, the other day I participated in a Twitter Chat (coordinated by mediators Jason Dykstra and Jeff Thompson) with a score of conflict resolution colleagues. Now that was a conversation!

How are conversations changing your world?


  1. A clear and positive perspective, Ben. And I love the photo 🙂 I particularly like your point 3 about building trust – in my urban engagement consulting, I find that processes that get people together in conversation BEFORE there are major issues to debate create an important level of trust (and therefore openness to other perspectives).

  2. Thanks Lorne. Always appreciate your perspective. Good point about getting people together before debating the big issue. I think it harkens to that maybe we should all just break a bit of bread together, get to know each other a bit more on a personal level… it might reduce our tendency to get all hot and bothered in the big debate (which tends to reduce our capacity to actively listen, appreciate others..).

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