What to do if you are someone who hates to talk about “feelings”?

When I was a young man, I rarely talked ”feelings”. For the most part, I didn’t know how to. My feelings avoidance played itself out in different ways. One way was that, at age 21, I bought a guitar, and took to studying flamenco guitar. My internal thoughts were, “I will learn to express how […]

Difficult conversations go better when you find and negotiate with your feelings

I was a cigarette smoker in my younger days. For close to 15 years, I wrestled with the addiction. When I finally committed to being a non-smoker, I gained a different perspective on smoking. Many years after my last cigarette, I spent several years as a contract business analyst, working on the development and implementation […]

Conflict: Thank you [A poem]

[October 9, 2017 is Thanksgiving Day in Canada. My poem gives thanks to conflict’s role in my learning journey.] Hello Conflict, my trusted friend I can count on you, to put in an appearance, every day A gift, of sorts Thank you. When I work with you, respect you My differences with others turn small […]

How to minimize the extent unconscious bias impacts your decision-making process

“That’s not what I meant to say.”  Yet, I did.  Was I tripped up by my unconscious biases? The list of cognitive biases, a subset of our unconscious biases, is long (150+). Biases influence how we behave in the world. Unconscious bias is a performance killer “Unconscious bias is a powerful yet quiet performance killer. It literally […]

My “Expressing Feelings” Algorithm for Difficult Workplace Conversations and Problem-Solving

“Never mind all that feelings stuff, let’s just do it”. Just do it. Just do the work. If only life were so simple. In the workplace, jointly solving problems often involves difficult conversations, and conflicting views. Difficult conversations won’t go well unless feelings are surfaced. We have to have those conversations. Change happens, finding solutions to […]